PURE PRESKENIS, PURE PITY!!!

The Pure Preskenis "Pure Pity" Page

If I had my way, I would lead a silly, silly life.

I'd be running around town, spending money willy nilly in search of good stories...

I'd be taking hang-gliding lessons, wrestling panda bears, or hanging out in dive bars where they let you throw peanut shells on the floor and you wouldn't feel out of place in an eyepatch...

YOU CAN HELP!!!

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With your money, I can drink full-sized beers!

CLICK HERE TO DONATE!!!

Maybe one of my Tenting Tales touched you...

Perhaps my standup was better than anything you've ever seen at your local VFW...

Or you may be one of the many fans who go to bed at night thinking, "For cryin' out loud, I Am Drugs wins a friggin' Best Short Film award and all they get is a plastic trophy?!?"

I cannot tell you what is in your heart, friends.

I can't tell you how to live.

And I certainly can't tell what's in your bank account.

But if I've moved you, feel free to move me by sending a little money my way.

That PayPal link is secure and a clear way to show your gratitude in these uncertain times.

I'm not saying you have to give.

But think about the karma.

Still not sure? I'm very persuasive if you give me the chance!

Spare Time + Extra Cash = F-U-N

This is just an example--$10 bought the "Cock Fight" hat and $4 bought the beer in a plastic cup!!!

If you like, I'll even send you pictures of the adventures that I have with your money!

This way, you can proudly tell your significant other, "honey, remember that tropical vacation we were going to take?...

"Well, I sent the money to this random comic in New York, and he got five lap dances from two girls at the same time--and that was just with our airfare, never mind these pictures of what he did with the hotel money!!!"

See? You feel good already.

In the future, I'll probably have poorly made T-shirts, CDs and shit here. So this is your chance to throw money away before I sell out. Don't tell me you're just going to sit there and let it pass...

Remember, folks: giving, like a crippling crystal meth habit, is addictive--but it won't cause your heart to explode while you engage in unprotected group sex! So come back often!